Are you my mother?

My last post on this blog was 5 years ago. 5 WHOLE years. How do you sum up half a decade in one blog post? Like this Big A is 7 and in second grade. He fancies himself a potty talk comedian and is currently writing a book about dragons and PUKE. I am his scribe. Its my favorite thing to do in the evenings. He is also currently taking Taekwondo and gaining confidence that far surpasses his level of expertise. He is so observant and can now tell when I am being sarcastic, its the best. E is 5 years old and in kindergarten. She loves school and is my little artist. She is always drawing, cutting, creating, and making messes. Most days I wake up to find a masterpiece made just for me on my nightstand. She is in ballet and tap and has just started Taekwondo with her brothers. M is 3 and is affectionately known as meatball. He is charismatic and everything he says and does is funny. He has no idea he is smaller than the bigs and holds his own in any wrestling match. He i...

Today I am 26. Its hard to believe that I am closer to 30 than 20. Man do I feel old, ;) haha. I know I have said this before, but I truly have the most amazing friends. People always say to surround yourself with people you want to be like, and I have honestly found such a wonderful group of girls (women?? no girls, we are not our mothers!).  Seriously ladies, I thank God everyday that I have such an awesome support group. So thank you, for everything; today and everyday. I love you all. You know what else I love? Little flutters. About a week now, and I have been like maybe that was, maybe I am crazy, but today no mistaking it, tiny flutters. Amazing.

First off, it has been a really long time. What can I say, I have been busy; or just lazy. Either way its been like two months. I have a love hate relationship with seeing homecoming pictures of my friends on facebook. On one hand I am soo happy their hubbies are home, and the pictures of daddies hugging babies brings a huge smile to my face. On the other (unfortunately much larger) hand I am so so sad because it is not me, and that is not my baby hugging his daddy. Selfish and horrible I know, but I cant help it. Almost half way...and the time drags on. You know what I hate? Well meaning people who say "oh well the time is just flying by! Hell be home before you know it!" Um yea, time flies for normal people. For us though, it drags. Like January is probably the longest month ever. So a tip for those well meaning people trying to make us lonely spouses feel better. NO NOT TELL US HOW FAST THE TIME IS GOING. Believe me, its dragging.

It feels like we just did it, and yet here it is again. So far so good, but he's only been gone a few days so I really don't deserve a pat on the back yet. Last time I was so sad that first week, like I would cry randomly, a lot. This time not so much. I don't know if it is because I am no longer a "boot" wife,  and I've been here before. I feel as used to the distance as one can in this situation.  Time will tell :) . The thing about it is, I will probably look back at this post in a few weeks and be like, what the *** was I thinking, this SUCKS haha but right now we are rockin' it. It probably helps that I got a facetime date with J. That was awesome, last time around we didn't the whole 7 months and this time around we did only a few days in, I hope that continues! :) Sometimes I think about how our life would be different if I worked too. I think about all the "things" we could have and wonder if I should; especially on days were andrew...

I find I am forgetting to document what Andrew is up too, and that I am forgetting when he starting doing something new. So here I go documenting away; mom brain is a very real ailment! At your 15-month well baby you weighed 26.3 lbs and were 31.5 inches long. Your eyes are still blue, but getting more green/grey everyday. You have been waking up at about 5:30 despite me stretching bed time back an hour. I dont go get you till 630-7 though. We get up with the sun baby boy! So you might as well sleep! ;) Then we have a cuddle with some milk watching Mickey Mouse Club House. Your favorite part is the hot dog song.  You are starting to get picky about what you eat. You used to eat whatever I gave you, now there are things you wont eat at all. Silly babe :) Your favorite foods are cheese, milk, goldfish, turkey dogs, chicken nuggets, mandarin oranges, grapes,   animal crackers, jammy sammys, and fruit snacks. You refuse to eat pasta, sauce or no sauce you won...

You think to yourself "wow, why are they texting me so late wanting to hang out!?" and its only 7:00. You spend a ridiculous amount of money on anti-wrinkle cream... You go to the grocery store needing to get five items...and forget two of them... Yup, definitely getting old. Also my baby is now a toddler...its like it happened overnight, I looked at him today and it hit me....no baby, just a big boy in his place. :/ Joel has been gone a month....it sucks. The mind is an amazing thing, I have forgotten how terrible this was the first time but now that it is happening again I remember, oh yea, this SUCKS. And its only the beginning. BAH!! At least this time around I get Drewby snuggles...those are the best. :)

My working out has been put on hold. Haven't been able to since last thurday and I already feel the lard building back up in my body. I went for a walk today and that helped a little but I really would like to get back  into it. I was given the go ahead for thursday and I really can't wait. One week off and it feels like I am starting from square one. Boo.  Being a military spouse surely has its negatives; but I have met some of the most wonderful people and made the best of friends. Joel is out of town and I don't know what I would do without the support I have from friends who feel a lot like family. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for everything.

Thats right, three years of wedded bliss. I feel like so much has happened in those three years that it has to be more like five or six because we couldn't possibly squeeze everything into just three.  Joel graduated from flight school, we got married, moved to california, , bought our first house,went through our first deployment and had our first baby.I think of these three years, he has been home for half of that. This year Joel is of course not home (we are 1/3 on him being home for this day), but he made sure I knew he was thinking of me. He sent me pink chocolate covered strawberries, a huge teddy bear (that Andrew loves!) and red roses, but best of all he wrote the sweetest note to me. Marriage is not easy. My parents made it look easy, so I have had to readjust my expectation, not in a bad way, but in a we are getting to know each other and what we need way. We are a work in progress. We are not perfect, and of course have had our ups and downs. As my love said in his ...

I ran 4 1/2 miles without stopping today. Not even for water (which I usually do). I use the word run liberally because it's really more of a jog; I am slow, and I am ok with it. Running used to feel like a chore, like oh great, why the heck am I doing this to myself again? Now, it is my sanity. It gets Drewby and I out of the house for an hour or so, and it is so awesome to feel healthy. I probably don't look a whole lot different on the outside, but I feel 100 times better on the inside so I don't even mind. I don't cringe when I walk by a mirror because I know at least now I am trying. Maybe tomorrow I will get a picture of Drewby and I on our daily outing. :) Little man got a hair cut today. Its technically not his first, but it was his first at a real Barber shop and she actually cut enough hair so you can tell. He looks so much older! My baby is turning into a little boy, and he is so handsome! :) I don't want to brag or anything, but my husband is kickin...

1 week down, 7 more to go...and then I get a few days and then he's gone again, this time for a full deployment. BUMMER. On a happy note, Andrew randomly takes steps. Not walking, but at least he's trying now! Silly boy, he is 14 mo old and doesn't walk yet! I guess I shouldn't be surprised he's always been a late mover. He does however have a hilarious speed crawl, I really need to get it on video before he stops doing it. Sometimes I can't believe how big he is, he is looking more and more like a little boy not a baby, and its a little sad. It's also a lot of fun. He has such a great little personality. He also still takes two naps a day...which is awesome! :) He has always been such a great sleeper, thank goodness! I have been spoiled, the next one will probably be the worst sleeper ever and I wont know what to do with myself! On a workout note I am doing really well! I have lost 7.5 lbs and 2 inches off my tummy, 1 inch on each of my thighs and 1/2 i...

I have been asked how the insane challenge is going, and honestly I am not following the "rules". A friend and I just do it a few times a week and then I run with my good friend BOB on the days I don't do it, and today I did both! I AM A CHAMPION! I have also had like 50-billion gallons of water...ok not that much but WAY more than I usually drink and believe me, my bladders working out too. I have also been off diet coke for 4 days now. It has been terrible, but I am still alive and so is andrew so I guess all is well. :) I am keeping track of my measurements and weight, both of which are pretty depressing but at least I am trying. I still have 7lbs of baby weight and 10 lbs of marriage weight. Really tho, I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I want to be healthy. So heres to a few good weeks and for the rest of forever.

Tomorrow starts insanity...the workout program. Some girlfriends and I are starting tomorrow and I am really excited to finally have some workout buddies! I seriously have work to do, like 30 lbs of work. Now don't you DARE say anything like "no you don't" or ,"oh my gosh there's no way you have that much to lose", because I am telling you there is. If i want a healthy, fit body I need to lose 30lbs of FAT. No joke. This is serious. Joel leaves for WTI on Sunday for 8 weeks, and I am giving myself those 8 weeks to lose 20 lbs. I know I can do it, I just need to DO IT! Yes I am motivated and this WILL HAPPEN! :)

    I am grateful for you, Andrew. You are the tester of my ever dwindling patience, the giver of sloppy wet open-mouthed kisses. The destructor of my home, and master of unfolding laundry. No one else can melt my heart and simultaneously drive me mad. I can not say, sweet boy, how much I have grown since God blessed me with your life. Being your mother is not always easy; I am not perfect, but know that I will never work as hard to be at anything else.     I hope I can be everything you need, I hope I can teach you to be a good man. I hope I can teach you to love others, have empathy for them, to embrace difference, but know who you are and where you are going. I hope I can  instill in you a respect for your country, and the knowledge that you come from a line of American heros. Heros who were and are willing to sacrifice everything. I hope you live with passion, learn to embrace your trials. Be strong, in who you are and what you stan...

Ever have one of those days where you are this close to going over the edge, bat s*** crazy?? Today was that day for me, my child screamed off and on all day, nothing I did was write or helped and I never knew what he wanted. Those who know my Andrew know that this is very a-typical behavior; so I know something is wrong, but I still found myself getting so frustrated with him. Then of course feeling terrible because obviously something is wrong, but still on the verge of losing my mind because some of the time he is acting totally normal. The past week has been a little off because he cut his two front teeth, was running a fever all weekend, and has not eaten like normal. I chalked all that up to the teeth, but now he's got a rash so I think it might be more. Poor baby and I will be taking a trip to the doctor tomorrow. He is sleeping now, thank the good Lord. I feel terrible for almost losing it...especially if we go in tomorrow and it is more than just teeth. BLAH This motherhoo...

I know I know, it's been a long time since my last post; in my defense I have been busy. I visited family in VA while joel was training out of town. It was nice for my family to get to know Andrew, I love California but it is hard being so far away, especially when it comes to Andrew.  He had so much fun getting spolied by everyone that when we got home I pretty much had to retrain him, haha!  It is nice to know that my little boy is so loved by so many people. :) Here are pictures from the past month or so. Yay!!!! :) He was not feeling well and didnt really want anything to do with this cupcake sweet baby sleepy face such great uncles this little boy has :) he found a cookie and was really happy about it :) Andrew and g-man uncle ian and little drew my dad loves the marine corps! My andrew in his big boy cowseat! :) eats like a big boy with a plate :)

My sweet baby boy turned one yesterday. It is amazing how fast this last year has gone, and yes everyone says that but it really is true. It feels like just yesterday I was awake all night and feeding him all day. I am not going to lie, brand new baby was not my favorite stage in Andrews life. I was tired all the time, alone all day. Giving so much and receiving nothing but poop and crying.  Dont get me wrong, I loved my little snuggle bug, but life was hard. Those first few months were the longest, I dont really think I had postpartum. but I cried a lot.  As he got older, and started smiling and cooing things got better; now I love (almost) every minute with my little monster.  He has such a happy disposition, he sleeps like a champ, is hardly every grumpy, loves his mama and daddy, and pretty much everyone else. He might not have been planned, but he sure is my greatest gift. Here are a few pictures over the last year. Brand spankin new :) 2 we...

USMC    1,000,000,000 Courtney 0 Once again I got my hopes up about getting my husband to myself for a full 4 days (for an out of town wedding), and once again the Marine Corps wins this one. I don't even know why I continue to try to plan anything. I found out my plans were crushed two days ago and needed some cool off time. I know it is not J's fault. I know he doesn't say "please schedule me for my flights when my wife wants me to go out of town with her!!" but that knowledge doesn't make it sting any less.  Once again my life and everything I do revolves around his schedule. I cant have 4 days. FOUR FREAKING DAYS.  So what do I do? I will continue to go see movies by myself, eat dinner alone, be a single parent 6 days a week all while keeping a smile plastered on my brace face.

Cutie Pootie! :) Daddy and Andrew at the San Juan Mission Momma and Andrew Huge fan of the grass! :) I love this little pout-y face! :) I found this little monster standing in his crib for the first time last week. Sleepy Andrew boy The boys gettin in some cuddle time

My attitute. I had a great day with my bestie today full of Panera soup and painting pottery; just what I needed. I woke up grumpy due to my metal mouth and was in great need of some Kelapy (kelli therapy).  I can not say enough how greatful I am for my girl friends out here on the West Coast. I would most likely need to be medicated (haha-ish) if it wasnt for the talk therapy and burden sharing with my friends. My wise Kelli shared a few words of wisdom that I need to incorporate into my thinking. Expect less. Give more.  Four simple words. Simple words that can have a profound impact on how I choose to react to situations that are out of my control. It is of course, easy to to lose perspective.  I need to give more. I need to think of others first.  Such a simple concept and yet so hard to remember.

Why yes...I did just eat 6 fruit by the foot snacks. Why you ask; because tomorrow I once again join the brace-face club. For the next 10-12 months I can no longer eat "sticky" foods. Those fruit by the foot were the only things I could find in my house that are on the "do not eat" list, and as I do not have the car tonight I could not go and splurge on something I really wanted so the fbtfs would have to do. I can not say I am excited about once again having a mouth full of metal, but I am however looking forward to the end result.  I had braces when I was younger, and of course did not wear my retainers and my teeth have gotten progressivly worse over the years. It got to a point where I couldnt see anything else when I looked in the mirror so I decided it was time. I asked Joel if he had ever kissed anyone with braces...he said no. BAHAHAHA! :) Is he in for a treat!